MAFF

I noticed yesterday that the acronym for this blog is MAFF which coincidentally used to be the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food. I'm sure that's interesting in some obscure way. I had to ask Husband if the final F was food or farming. that's the kind of conversation we have.

Last night I made a birthday cake for someone in Zac's. I had resolved not to eat any but i had to taste it - and it was exceptionally good. So I had another piece ...

And I wonder why I don't lose weight.

I'm back

Okay, so it's been a little while. But I'm going to try again.

I am spurred into action by the scales. On return from holiday I was the same weight as the last time before we went. I was very pleased with that as we'd been eating large breakfasts and restaurant dinners as well as having ice cream for lunch every day. Maybe the ice cream was the key to success ...

One week on from our return I'd gained 1lb; this last week I've gained another 2. 'Why am I putting on so much weight?' I wailed.
'Because you're eating too much?' Husband suggested. Though possibly true it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I weigh first thing in the morning so out of curiosity today - after walking George and ... how can I put this? Um, going to the toilet - I hopped on the scales again.

I'd put on another 2lbs. 

I mean, seriously? I know body weight fluctuates during the day but by that much?!

So I'll record the early morning weight: 10st 1.5 lbs.

All the other things the scale is supposed to tell me like water percentage and so on it didn't. Instead it said, 'ERR,' which may of course been in response to my excessive weight gain.

Today's excuse

Death is bad for diets. And there've been lots of deaths this last week. Death, especially of someone younger than me, makes me say, 'Blow the diet, life is too short.'

I will start again. Soon. But perhaps not today.

Excuses

Had family to stay.
Been busy.
Husband has athlete's foot. (Okay, not really relevant.)
Scale not working.
Diet gone to pot.

But now I'm back with a new all-singing, all-dancing weighing scales from Weightwatchers. I only got it out of the box today and I've already spent too much time shouting at it. Not because of my weight: that's still - amazingly - 140 lbs. But because it says 'tap lightly to switch on'.

I tapped lightly. I pressed long and hard. It seems the scale only turns on when it wants to.

I thought it might be that I hadn't fully removed the bit of tape that stops the battery going dead but in order to check that I had to find the teeniest screwdriver in the house. It looked as though the battery was a bit wonky so I removed and reinserted it and ... the scale still only works when it wants to.

I've put it to one side for a bit to see if it decides to start behaving before I have to take it back to the shop.

Meanwhile I'm trying again.

Very trying.

Food Diary
Weetabix
baked potato, baked beans and cheese
murray mint
salad
lamb chop
potato salad, coleslaw
Maltesers

FitBit 
On charge and then forgot to wear it but didn't have much exercise

Food Diary
Weetabix
2 slices bread and butter
banana
bits pizza
salad
potato salad
coleslaw
bread and butter

FitBit (at 9.12 pm)
15,713 steps
6.57 miles
2,023 calories

Tuesday 
Food Diary
Weetabix
muffin
3 ryvita
banana
crisps
bread 
salad
Burger
coleslaw
couscous
2 muffins

FitBit (at 10.03 pm)
13,832 steps
5.81 miles
2,027 calories

Sunday
Food Diary
Weetabix
cherries
3 ryvita and butter
1 dairylea triangle
chunk french bread
roast lamb dinner
gooseberry crumble and custard
orange

FitBit (at 10.00 pm)
14,451 steps
6.04 miles
2,021 calories

Monday
Food Diary
Weetabix
Ice cream cone
chunk french bread and butter
banana
nectarine
about to have a kiwi and later will have beans on toast and an orange

FitBit (at 7.57 pm)
14,468 steps
6.07 miles
2,053 calories

Food Diary
weetabix
banana
4 ginger biccies (124 calories each)
cherries
salad
steak
coleslaw

FitBit (at 8.29 pm)
12,973 steps
5.43 miles
1,847 calories

Mid-morning yesterday I put my FitBit on charge and forgot to put it on again. Cherries continue to be my downfall but when they are so fat and juicy and delicious a girl's just got to eat them.

Food Diary
Weetabix
banana
(If I stopped here all would be well)
3 ryvita 
2 boiled eggs
cherries
cherry tomatoes
cherries
salmon
green veg
roasted tomatoes
gnocchi
cherries
orange

FitBit
Probably about 9,000 steps

Weigh-in Day
I seem to be approximately the same weight as last time but what that is is anybody's guess. Even after changing the batteries. Husband came to read it to prove I was just being silly - but he couldn't read it either. Our best guess was about:
140 lbs

Will definitely buy a new scales.

Food Diary
Weetabix
2 fajitas
cherries
murray mint
5 tiny biscuits
chinese takeaway
1 orange

FitBit (at 9.21 m)
7,234 steps
3.03 miles
1,604 calories

I haven't quite made my 10,000 steps today but I did spend some time pushing a pushchair which as we already know doesn't register as steps so I'm not going to worry too much.

Food Diary
Weetabix
banana
cherries
2 slices bread and marmite
pieces pizza crust
salad
baked potato
coleslaw and cheese
cherries
1 flapjack

FitBit (at 9.50 pm)
9,167 steps
3.83 miles
1,866 calories

A good walk and some gardening today. That's my justification for my flapjacks.

Food Diary
Weetabix
Crunchy nut flakes
date flapjack
beans on toast
2 murray mints
date flapjack

FitBit (at 10.00 pm)
15,114 steps
6.32 miles
2,142 calories

I am drawing a veil over the weekend. Two parties and a weekend away = too much good food.

And it's still impossible to read the scales. I either lost half a stone - definitely not! - or gained one pound. Must check the batteries.

Food Diary
Weetabix
2 bowls crunch nut flakes
1 nectarine
lump cheese
spag bol

FitBit (at 7.44 pm)
11,009 steps
4.66 miles
1,716 calories

Bad Day No. 123

Food Diary
Weetabix
rhubarb 
banana
cherries
2 murray mints
banana
lamb
bread roll
salad
coleslaw
potato salad
Too much dessert to list (Rhian's party)

FitBit
Not bothering to look as spent most of the day sitting in chair in hairdresser's and rest not wearing FitBit

Seasonal fruit is my downfall ...

as well as the ice cream and mayo and cheese and ...

Food Diary (for today as opposed to the earlier one that was for yesterday)
weetabix
2 small slices quiche
salad and cherry tomatoes 
little blob mayo
several Korean cookies
rhubarb
cherries
spag bol
strawberries
raspberries
ice cream

FitBit (at 10.02 pm)
5,221 steps
2.18 miles
1,476 calories

Food diary
Weetabix
banana
kiwi
crunchy nut flakes
cherries
bits pizza crust
baked potato
salad
coleslaw
cheese
orange

FitBit (just before bed)
4,888 steps
not many miles
not many calories

Just the usual

Food Diary
Weetabix
Crunchy nut flakes
banana
lump cheese
macaroni cheese
peas
small piece rhubarb cake
stewed rhubarb

FitBit (10.34 pm)
12,793 steps
5.43 miles
1,922 calories

When exercise doesn't count

Food Diary
weetabix
cherries
crunchy nut flakes
cherry tomatoes
baked beans on toast
grated cheese

FitBit (at 7.42 pm)
5,744 steps
2.45 miles
1,448 calories

I wasn't wearing it for a while this morning while it charged but I did Thrive circuits tonight so I'm sure I've actually used more calories than that.

Fat or sexy?

'I'm fat and horrible!'
'No, you're not,' says Husband. 'You're gorgeous and sexy.'

Whom to believe? Me or Husband. 

Obviously I want to believe Husband but then I look in the mirror or grab a handful of belly flab and groan again, 'No, I'm not gorgeous!'

Husband loves me just the way I am, however that is. I love me when I'm slim and confident. Yet sometimes I can feel good just as I am. And then I'll say, 'Blow it! Let's eat cake.'

But then by bedtime or maybe sooner I'm berating myself for my weakness and I am returned to the pit of self-... hatred is too strong a word - imagine me looking down my nose at myself as I would at ... no, I hope I wouldn't look down my nose at anybody else (unless I'm being really honest when I'd say except maybe a contestant on Big Brother or something similar) the way I do at myself. 

Why do I do this to myself? Is it primarily a woman thing? Getting all deep and meaningful, is it because my father didn't want to know me leaving me with a sense of not being good enough as I was?

More importantly how do I stop doing it? How do I find satisfaction with myself?

Answers on a postcard, please. Or in the Comments box.

Not good but not horrendous

Food Diary
Weetabix
cherries
cherry tomatoes
crunchy nut flakes
banana
handful cheerios
salad
salmon, prawns, half an egg, grated cheese
orange

FitBit (at 9.55 pm)
13,060 steps
5.48 miles
1,945 calories

Weigh In week 7

The digital display on the scales is temperamental and this morning i couldn't properly read a crucial figure. Either I have lost a lot of weight (very unlikely) or I have gained even more (far more likely after two weeks of too much food and not enough exercise). So if I opt for the more realistic number I now weigh more than I did when I began the diet. 

It is very disheartening that two bad weeks carry more weight than five moderately good ones.

147.6 lbs

Food Diary
Weetabix
banana
Honey Nut Cornflakes
several cheese straws
2 squares chocolate
cawl and dumplings
orange

FitBit (at 10.03 pm)
15,742 steps
6.74 miles
2,096 calories

And there's more

Food Diary
Weetabix
Special K
banana
flake
lump cheese
cawl and dumplings

FitBit (at 10.30 pm)
15,297 steps
6.44 miles
1,991 calories

And they just get worse

Food Diary
Weetabix
banana
cheerios
banana
cherries
salad bowl
bread roll
risotto
ciabatta
lemon posset

FitBit (at 9.40 pm)
1,907 steps
.8 miles
1,269 calories

My worst ever day on FitBit partly because I forgot to put it on this morning but also because I haven't been doing much.

The point of this blog is to keep me under control and on the right track. It is failing miserably.

And another

Food Diary
Weetabix
3 softmints
cherries
handful cheerios
2 sausages
mash and baked beans
half slice sultana bread

FitBit (at 9.20 pm)
4,468 steps
1.87 miles
1,561 calories

And another bad day

Moving Uncle from 10.00 am until 7.00 pm so then he insisted on taking us to the Mermaid for dinner.

Food Diary
Weetabix
4 mini sausages
1 sausage roll
salad bowl
bread roll
salmon with hollandaise sauce
chips (horrid - I left some)
mixed veg (horrid (I left most)

FitBit (at 9.42 pm)
6,965 steps
2.91 miles
1,795 calories

To begin again

Food Diary
Weetabix
2 slices toast
lump cheese
banana
kiwi
cherry tomatoes
2 softmints
shepherd's pie
broccoli
strawberries (and cream)

FitBit (at 10.16 pm)
7,274 steps
3.04 miles
1,780 calories

I declare last week weeka non grata

Okay, have had a very good eating week and very bad dieting week. Also a very enjoyable but very little exercise week. So I've decided to pretend that these last few days just didn't happen. I think that's for the best.

So I'll start again tomorrow, eating and exercising properly.

Having said that, Uncle is hoping to move on Tuesday so while I will be quite busy packing/unpacking I may not get my steps in. 

Just warning you/me.

Missed a day

Monday I was on a course in Southampton so got up at 5.15 am and ate peculiarly all day. I also spent about 8 hours sitting/standing on a train.

Food Diary
Weetabix (the world may be about to end but I'd have to have my weetabix first)
3 small flapjacks
several grapes
tuna and mayo sandwich
bag crisps
orange and mango drink
banana
kitkat
3 softmints
banana
cherries

FitBit (at 10.08 pm)
3,611 steps
1.51 miles
1,399 calories

Father's Day

But Mother ate too.

Food Diary
Weetabix
Cheerios
1 banana
cherries
small lump cheese
coquilles st jacques
steak
veg
boodles
raspberries
ice cream
garlic bread
2 softmints
 1 glacier fruit

FitBit (at 9.28 pm)
11,473 steps
4.80 miles
1,875 calories

A good day for food ...

but a bad day for dieting.

Weigh-in this morning. I was shocked to find I'd gained half a pound. I hadn't expected to lose much but to put it on?! my resolve to do better today was quickly weakened by an invite to daughter's for dinner in advance of Father's Day tomorrow.

Weigh In week 5 (maybe)
141 lbs

Food Diary
weetabix
honey roast peanuts (while watching rugby)
2 slices thickly buttered toasted cheesy bread (comfort food following Wales' defeat by the All Blacks) (again)
cherry tomatoes
crisps
lamb kebab
lamb burger
sausage
salad 
coleslaw
rhubarb cake

FitBit (at 9.38 pm)
5,371 steps
2.25 miles
1,594 calories

Boring records

Food Diary
Weetabix
chicken sandwich 
bit of mayo
tomatoes
some cheese
cherries
special fried rice
barbecue pork ribs
1 orange

FitBit (at 10.06 pm)
11,280 steps
4.73 miles
1,826 calories

And today's score is ...

I forgot: yesterday while baking courgette cake I danced around the kitchen to a bit of Tom Jones. That must have helped increase my step count.

Today has been a bad one step-wise. Not very good food-wise either. That's the trouble when we have the grandchildren to tea: I end up eating pizza crusts and the bits of cheese GrandDaughter1 picks off the pizza. Not to mention a goodly number of cherries. but they're good for me I tell myself. And they're seasonal so I have to make the most of them.

Food Diary
Weetabix
Cheerios
Cherries
pizza crust
lump of cheese (small)
veggie lasagne (very yummy, made with left-over roast veg)

FitBit (at 10.00 pm)
5,584 steps
2.37 miles
1,548 calories

And for Tuesday

I'm surprised my step count is that high. The most walking I did was around Sainsburys.

Food Diary
Weetabix
Cheerios
2 softmints
cherries
roast veg, gnocchi 
a few caramelised pecans (I had to test them)
grated cheese
a slice courgette cake
2 Korean cookies

FitBit (at 10.34 pm)
7,628 steps
3.21 miles
1,825 calories

Away for the weekend ...

so no facts or figures recorded. So I don't have to mention the pizza or enormous ice cream or chocolate cakes.

Back on the straight and narrow now. Nie walk this morning and Thrive tonight should help restore my equilibrium.

Food Diary
weetabix
1 murray mint
salad, beetroot, braesola, grated cheese
blob mayo
1 kiwi
6 pieces fudge
2 slices baked beans on toast
grated cheese
1 orange

FitBit (at 7.46 pm)
10,504 steps
4.41 miles
1,613 calories

Saturday weigh in 4

Away tomorrow so having my weigh in today.

140.4 lbs
33.8% fat

Not brilliant but in the right direction. Still need to have fewer treats.

Today's facts

Food Diary
Weetabix
cheese and onion pastie
1 banana
2 glacier fruits
spag bol
grated cheese
strawberries, raspberries, peach and banana 
ice cream

FitBit (at 9.25 pm)
15,926 steps
6.66 miles
1,902 calories

Convinced my FitBit isn't working properly

Had a lovely long walk this morning - slightly longer than anticipated in fact as the path I'd suggested was closed halfway along because the sea wall, upon which we were walking, had been washed away. But we didn't realise this until we got there and had to retrace our steps and go the way we usually go. Then we walked and walked and walked - and my FitBit still only said 8,000 and something.

At that point we still had to walk to X. And then across the dunes, through the forest, up the hill through the village and to the car park. I was hoping I might set a steps record but it seems unlikely.

Still I'm feeling okay about things at the moment. My weight is going down and more importantly I've retaken control of my eating and, excuse the boasting, I think I look pretty good as I dither over whether to take my first dip of the year. Admittedly, as I said to Husband, bathing costumes sort of sleekify the blippy bits.

How long that feeling good feeling will last is another thing but I'll enjoy it while I can. As I enjoyed the cheese and onion pastie I had for a late lunch at the end of the walk in Llanmadoc Community Shop. All the pasties are made by local people and I just wish I had their knack with pastry. But I didn't have cake as well, a decision that surprised, and probably slightly disappointed, Husband who'd said, 'I'll have cake if you do.'

more boring facts

Tempted not to reveal today's facts.

Food Diary
Weetabix (see if I stopped there each day I'd have no problems!)
Chicken salad
3 slices garlic bread (but they were little slices)
1 banana
3 glacier fruits
2 sugar cubes (obviously in need of a sugar fix)
chicken salad
grated cheese
peach, strawberry, raspberry and banana and ice cream

FitBit (at 10.11 pm)
6,449 steps
2.7 miles
1,633 calories

Yesterday's facts and figures

Went to bed and forgot to record the details last night so here goes.

Food Diary
Weetabix
2 ryvita
thin layer of mayo plus prawns
cherry tomatoes
1 banana
2 glacier fruits
spag bol
grated cheese
1 orange

FitBit (at 10.12 pm)
11,052 steps
4.62 miles
1,841 calories

Today's facts and figures

Food Diary
Weetabix
Cheerios
1 banana
3 fish fingers(because there was nothing else to eat in the house and the alternative was a Chinese takeaway)
chips
peas
2 pieces rhubarb cake
2 glacier mints
1 Murray mint
1 sugar cube

FitBit (at 10.20 pm)
14,426 steps
6.13 miles
1,978 calories

Red-faced of derwen fawr

Today I decided it was time to stop being a wimp and letting my (very mild) cold get the better of me. I didn't walk George but did go to Thrive circuit training. Half an hour and a shower later and I still have the very red face to prove it.

Food Diary
Weetabix
3 ryvita, 1 with Marmite (which is another food that never goes off)
1 peach
1 apple
1 banana (I think - did I eat it?)
2 slices toast
baked beans
grated cheese
1 orange

FitBit (at 8.06 pm)
6,788 steps
2.87 miles
1,552 calories

I have a heavy head

Food Diary (Saturday)
Weetabix
1 banana
2 sausages
mash
baked beans
2 oranges
handful grapes

FitBit (at 10.10 pm)
6,732 steps
2.82 miles
1,648 calories

Sunday Weigh-in 3 
141.0 lbs
34.2% fat

Only lost half a pound which is a bit disappointing. I blame the quantity snot up my nose. I have what I think would be called a head cold or a summer cold or a 'I can't believe I'm poorly again' cold. 2016 has been my most unhealthy year for, well, years. So I'm taking it easy today on the grounds that my body needs to concentrate on making me better. (So my step count will be low - I'm warning you and me.)

Food Diary (Sunday)
Weetabix
salad
2 slices braesola
grated cheese
spoonful mayo
1 banana
2 handfuls grapes
M&S dinner for two chicken
peas, carrots and mushrooms
apple pie and ice cream
2 lemonsip and extra honey

FitBit (at 9.33 pm)
2,205 steps
0.92 miles
1,273 calories

Ooh, not good. Least number of calories used and most consumed. Not a good day. Unless you count relaxing, watching The Musketeers and 2 episodes of Grey's Anatomy a good day.

Food facts

Food Diary
Weetabix
1 banana
2 boiled eggs
2 ryvita
1 banana
2 glacier fruits
1 sugar cube
apple and pear juice
salad
2 slices braesola
couscous salad
noodle salad
1 spoonful mayo
large handful grapes (feeling under the weather so needed a treat)
1 orange

FitBit (at 11.11pm)
10,063 steps
4.21 miles
1,649 calories

Worst day ever (step wise)

Food Diary
Weetabix
2 slices pizza
3 glacier fruit
salad
couscous
noodle
baked potato
grated cheese
spoonful garlic and herb dressing
1 orange
2 lemsip with added honey

FitBit (at 9.43 pm)
3,965 steps
1.66 miles
1,474 calories

Food facts

A good walk (and run and slide down sand dunes and paddle) but still haven't managed my 10,000 steps. Must remember to move my arm more.

Food Diary
Weetabix
crisps
banana
1 glacier fruit
1 sugar cube
baked beans
2 slices toast
grated cheese
Orange

FitBit (at 9.18 pm)
8,398 steps
3.51 miles
1,635 calories

World Best!

Planned to walk to Ripples but ended up walking to Verdi's and back. Felt I deserved ice cream (which took the place of my lunch). The long walk meant I set my own personal FitBit Best record.

It was very warm walking and George needed to cool off. (Why have a photo of George on a diet blog? Because it would be boring without.)

Tuesday Food Diary
Weetabix
Verdi's ice cream - 2 scoops, hazelnut and honeycomb
1 banana
2 glacier fruits
1 peach
2 sausages
baked beans
a few saute potatoes and onions
2 flapjacks

FitBit (at 10.38 pm)
18,463 steps
7.72 miles
2,212 calories

Bother, bother, bother!

Put my FitBit on to charge and forgot to wear it for my walk so will have to guess.

Food Diary
Weetabix (getting predictable)
salad
spoonful coleslaw
grated (therefore less calories than a lump of) cheese 
about 12 cherry tomatoes (okay, maybe 20; they are very yummy.)
1 banana (I can't remember when I ate it but I'm sure I did)
salmon
4 sort of roasted potatoes
broccoli
2 glacier fruits
1 Murray mint

FitBit (at 10.17 pm)
1,926 steps + about 6,000 for walk + about 1,000 for other = 8,926
0.81 miles
1,268 calories

First Weigh Day

Weight 141.6 lbs
Fat  35.7%

A week ago I weighed 146 lbs so that's a loss of about 4.5 lbs, which is excellent! If I read the scales correctly that is. They're digital and something, possibly me dropping them, has made it difficult to read the numbers properly. And I blame that for the increase in body fat: 1.5% because that isn't logical.

Food Diary
Weetabix
Murray mint
banana
3 ryvita and butter
4 cherry tomatoes
banana
1 glacier fruit
2 slices pizza
2 spoonfuls coleslaw
1 orange

FitBit (at 8.36 pm)
10,820 steps
4.52 miles
1,705 calories

Why I'm not speaking to my FitBit

Must add my Food Diary for today before I accidentally 'forget' some of it. A bad day as we had barbecue with daughter and family and they'd been to the cinema and brought some popcorn home with them. And the children had pizza for lunch. Neither of which should affect my diary ...

Food Diary
Weetabix (so far so good)
2 bites of pizza
small bowl leftover chicken curry
half an apple leftover by GrandSon2
2 handfuls popcorn
about 10 cherry tomatoes
1 mini falafel
I arancini
ultimate beef burger
3 slices cheese
spoonful fried onion
salad
spoonful coleslaw
Diet coke
NO bread! Not as much as I would have eaten normally so good on that front.

I am not speaking to my FitBit. We took the grandchildren to the Marina for a walk this morning and then this afternoon I took GrandDaughter2 out in her pushchair for a walk. Coming back I thought, 'I must have nearly reached 10,000 steps,' but on looking at FitBit I discovered I'd only done 7,789. I carried on walking but counting my steps and when I'd done 100 I checked FitBit again: 7,818.

So according to FitBit I'd taken 70 fewer steps than I'd actually done! I blame it on the fact that I was pushing the pushchair so my arm wasn't swinging: it's possible to fool FitBit by just swinging your arm back and for without taking any steps.

So by my reckoning if that was the way it was working, in the afternoon, I must have actually walked about an another 4,000 steps. But I won't include those in my total. I won't lower myself to those levels. Not just yet anyway.

It's weigh day tomorrow so we'll see what we shall see.

FitBit (at 6.51 pm)
11,896 steps
4.97 miles
1,816 calories

Forgot to add

Forgot to list yesterday's food and fitbit.

Food Diary
Weetabix
1 banana
chicken sandwich
1 blob of mayonnaise
5 cherry tomatoes
1 peach
2 glacier fruits
steak
salad
large blob mayonnaise
1 orange

FitBit (at 10.38 pm)
9,101 steps
3.82 miles
1,701 calories

And Friday's.
Food Diary
Weetabix
1 glacier fruit
stir fry veg and 3 ryvita
1 banana
1 Murray mint
handful Cheerios
chicken and spinach curry
rice
broccoli
1 orange

FitBit (at 8.46 pm)
11,947 steps
5 miles
1,764 calories

Because my husband loves me

Husband loves me very much.

I am very glad of that. The trouble is he loves my flab too.

Not too much of it, you understand, but enough to cuddle and get hold of. 'Women don't understand what men like,' he says. 

I suppose that's true. As I noted, it was men who grumbled at me last time I successfully lost weight. (I'm sure there are feminists out there objecting fiercely to my words but I am me and think and write like this and I am not above using my feminine wiles to get things done for me. But that's probably the subject for another post on another blog.)

I look in the mirror - on the rare occasions I dare - and I see my ugly white flabby belly and hips. I see nothing attractive at all. And I hate it. So when offered, for example, a piece of cake, I should have the incentive to say no ... but then I think, 'So what's a piece of cake? Husband loves me as I am,' and my hand reaches out and ...

Therein lies one of my problems.

Husband says, 'I will support you in your desire to lose weight because I know that being slimmer makes you more confident but I am happy with you as you are.'

Wonderful words, supportive, encouraging, loving. So why don't I settle for that? Rejoice and find confidence in my husband's love. 

A conundrum.

Danger Day 1

GrandChildren with us for tea so that meant fighting the urge to eat leftover pizza - or even crusts. More or less stood firm and only ate 2 of the Giant Buttons they had for a treat.

My strength of will is partly due to the ulcer I have on the side of my tongue, making eating - and talking - painful. An aside: have you ever tried catching your tongue to put bonjela on it? Don't bother.

Not much exercise today plus my FitBit needed charging mid-day so poor scores but not too bad eating wise.

Food Diary
2 weetabix
1 murray mint
left-over roast veg and cheese
2 buttons
a few Cheerios
tiny bit of pizza cheese and crust
noodles
stir fry veg
stir fry prawns

FitBit (at 10.07 pm)
3,170 steps
1.33 miles
1,420 calories

In which my resolve is tested

Uncle took us for lunch today before we went to an apartment viewing. I had decided before we went that I would have Caesar salad - but it wasn't on the menu. Nothing really healthy was so I settled for risotto. Yes, I shouldn't have eaten the garlic ciabatta but on the plus side I said no to dessert. Even though Uncle and Husband had it! Kudos to me.

And I had to have the 'free' salad bowl - because it was there - but resisted the coleslaw and potato salad although I did have one dollop of dressing.

Food Diary
2 weetabix etc
1 banana
mushroom risotto
garlic ciabatta
salad
date flapjack
1 banana

FitBit (at 7.10 pm)
12,526 steps
5.24 miles
1750 Calories

Only day 2 and already I've lied

Well, not so much lied as omitted something. Nothing big, quite small actually. Small white cubes. Of sugar. I ate two yesterday.

I was reminded because I just ate two when I was ironing.

But how bad can two little sugar lumps be? Hang on ... 24 calories bad. (Thank you, google.) Which doesn't sound much does it? Really?

Yes, I know crunching sugar cubes is bad not only for my weight but my teeth and my diabetes risk I expect. And lying not counting them in my food diary is even worse. Okay, okay, I'll add them.

I bought them before Christmas for Uncle's 90th birthday tea party. I thought sugar cubes added a bit of class. (Proper posh, y'know.) And very few people took sugar with the result that I have three quarters of a box still in my pantry. I can't waste them. I could crush them all down I suppose. I wouldn't be tempted to eat a spoonful of sugar.

But I'm not alone. I met a friend in a coffee shop last week and though neither of us took sugar we still managed to chomp our way through half a sugar bowl's worth of cubes.

Now the Old Me would have said, 'I deserve a reward for my honesty: have a sugar cube,' but the New Me walks away, determinedly. With only a fleeting regretful glance.

Resisting the irrestible

I accidentally went to Sainsburys today. I had to take a friend to hospital and then I realised I didn't have any petrol so ... you get the picture.

I hadn't planned on going so didn't have my bags with me so tried to buy only things I definitely needed. Which turned out to require the purchase of 3 reusable bags anyway. But I'm rambling.

The problem I have with Sainsburys - apart from the tendency to buy food just in case - possibly in case of an apocalypse if you look in my fridge after a shop - is their BOGOF offers or Special Prices! Which inevitably involve boxes of Maltesers or Cadburys Fingers. At least the ones I look out for spot do.

But today I didn't allow myself to look. 

So my shopping consisted of fish, meat, vegetables and fruit. All most awfully healthy.

And tonight I have Thrive circuit training. The sun is shining so Jules may well make us run up and down the drive to the hall. Have I mentioned that I hate running with a passion? (Except when I'm racing against children of course.) I do. I do. I do.

Sally commented on my first post, asking if I was using Fitbit's food diary. I hadn't been as I didn't know it existed but it's very clever, telling you how many calories in the food you've just eaten. As long as I don't lie to it too much I should be able to get a better grip on where my wobbles are.

P.S. Speaking of wobbles, I'll be dealing with those in a later post.

Food Diary
2 weetabix with semi-skimmed milk and 1 teaspoon sugar
2 glacier fruits
3 ryvita with butter and marmite
4 cherry tomatoes
1 banana
2 sugar lumps
2 slices toast, baked beans and cheese
1 orange

FitBit
9,371 steps
3.93 miles
1782 calories

And so it begins

One day in May six years ago I lumbered onto the bathroom scales ... and jumped off again in horror. Tentatively I stuck a toe on and braved it again. It hadn't been a mistake: I did weigh more than I had ever done in my life. And that includes pregnancy.

At 5' 4" and 10 st 11 lbs I was one and half stone over the recommended weight for my height. I decided that was enough and took myself off to the nearest Rosemary Conley class.

A few years earlier I'd joined Slimming World and followed quite successfully the red and green day diet but the idea of an exercise class combined with a weigh-in struck me as a good one so I signed up.

By February 2011, about nine months after starting, I was receiving my Two Stone badge and at 8 st 11 lbs weighed less than I had since being a teenager. And people had noticed. Men especially. Who told me to 'stop losing weight!' 'Women are supposed to have curves.'

Today I look like this.

At 10 st 6 lb (body fat 34.3%) I know I'm not enormous. I can still get into size 12 clothes (just about) and I'm comparatively fit (if you compare me to an unfit woman of my age), but I hate the sight of the flab around my belly and on my hips. What I should do, of course, is show you a photo of it but there are limits.

The Rosemary Conley class has ceased to be but I have all the books and know how much of what I should eat so, in theory, I should be able to go it alone. Which is what I've been saying each week over the last five years as my weight has very gradually edged up and up. The rate of increase has speeded up and I suspect that there isn't a maximum at which it will settle but that, one day, unless I do something now I'll realise that I'm 20 st and rising.

So, to the point of this blog. The incentive about going to a class is the public humiliation if you fail to lose or - horror - put on. Now I know it's all done privately and no-one is embarrassed by the teacher but you inevitably get into conversation comparing weight change with other members of the class so it is vaguely public. Or as public as you'll let it be. Doing it for yourself lacks that vital aspect.

So I came up with the idea of this blog. A flab and all expose of my progress as well as a look at my bad - and good - habits and how I can change my way of thinking. And a mini eating diary.

You'll notice that for dinner today I ate macaroni cheese. Now I know that's not a good way to start a diet but I've been craving it since reading about it in where the elite meet to eat and, also, we didn't have any other food in the house.

Food Diary

2 weetabix, semi-skimmed milk, 1 teaspoon sugar

1 glacier fruit (20 cals - I just checked)

2 boiled eggs, 2 ryvita liberally spread with butter

5 cherry tomatoes

6 raspberries, some cheese when grating

Macaroni cheese and salad

I'll probably - almost certainly - have a banana when watching Wallander later.

(If you read that diary carefully you may get an idea of some of my bad habits that I'll write about more fully in future.)

FitBit (at 20.35)

10,154 steps

4.25 miles

1,724 calories burned