Better not go out in this!

Two weeks' combined losses add up to .6 kg. That equals - hang on while I find out ... 1.3 lbs. Hm, not brilliant but better than an increase and it takes me to 9.5 stone. But my Christmas dress is looking extra-mini, indecent in fact.

Perhaps I'd better stick to cover-all jumpers and jeans over the festive season!

Today I'm off out for Christmas lunch with a group of women. Then there's just Christmas itself to get through. (Get through in a slimming sense that is; I LOVE Christmas!) So New Year new resolutions.

Hope you have a very jolly and wonderful time however you celebrate. See you next year.

uh uh, not today, thank you

Not weighing today. Husband's birthday weekend celebrations have taken their toll. He has gained 3 lbs. 

No way am I getting on those scales. But I still live in hope of having a (mini) dress for Christmas even if I have to go bare-footed.

Any weight loss is better than gain

I plucked up my courage to get back on the scales this week and it wasn't too bad: 60.9 kg. That equates to roughly 9st 8lbs.

Last time I weighed I was 61.3 kg. (I really must find out how to change the settings on my scales to imperial.) That's 9st 9lbs.

If I'm being accurate it's slightly less than 1 lb (.9)  I've lost but I'll colour in 2 blobs in expectation of doing better next week. (Although it is Husband's birthday.)

Feeling fat, fat, fat

So that's two Tuesdays that I've not weighed. 

It was my birthday the Monday before last and the after-choc-shocks are still happening - or were until yesterday when I finished it all. (Except two boxes of Maltesers that I am trying very hard to keep hidden and not eat yet.)

Feeling fat and podgy and didn't want to experience the horror of a reality check so stayed away from the scales today again. 

Next week it WILL be different. It had better be otherwise my Christmas dress will be indecent.

Not getting away with things

The trouble with me - can you tell that I haven't done very well? - is that I think I can get away with things.

Like crisps. I'm not eating a whole packet. No, just handfuls of a family size packet.

Fruit doesn't count. It's allowed. It's good for me. I can eat a whole tub of grapes.

I only eat sweeties in the car so they don't count.

And so on.

Which is why I've only lost barely half a pound this week. I decided to be generous with my decimal placings allowing me to colour in one blob on my Christmas dress. At this rate it will be a very mini dress. (I'm starting with the boobs to ensure some bits of me are covered at least.)

Countdown to Christmas

Okay, time to take this eating back under my control. (Says she having just finished off a packet of crisps leftover by the grandchildren - not their choice - I stopped them from having more.)

My weight is steadily rising so I'm going to do roughly what Slimming World members had the chance to do last year: colour in a dress. Or in my case, dress and shoes.

For every half pound I lose I can colour in one blob in the hope that by Christmas I will have lost 7 lbs or half a stone. 

As of weigh day yesterday I weighed in at 61.5 kg. That converts to 135.6 lbs - let's call it 136 lbs, or 9 st 10 oz.

It's not a huge challenge except for the fact that it's nearly my birthday and then GrandDaughter1's and then Husband's ... Oh and the fact that I'm a little piggy.

And I'm going to the theatre tonight so will have to have ice cream.

When is a stick not a stick?

I've succeeded in two weeks in putting back on the tiny amount of weight I lost during the 30 day challenge.

Not happy. But I knew it would be bad. So I'm stopping the special K for lunch and trying again under the Slimming World rules.

To cheer me up here's a grape stalk pretending to be a stick insect.

Suck it, Ms Scales

Should have weighed this morning but ...
I've had a bad week eating wise;
I'm feeling good at the moment;
I don't want a number to make me miserable.

Also Husband has lost weight for the umpteenth week and is his lowest for ages and I will be jealous.

So there, Ms Scales!

How do you change these stupid scales?

Lost this week. Can't remember exactly but about a pound or a bit more I think. If I could work out how to change the scale settings from kg to stones it would be much easier.

We had an enormous great manual with the scales but I seem to recollect throwing it away saying, 'I don't need this any more.' I'm not even sure how or why it got changed from pounds to kgs in the beginning.

So anyway, technical difficulties aside, a loss is good. I have done really well sticking to the 30 day challenge. Thirty days must be nearly up soon ... Let's see I actually started on 4th September so I suppose that makes it 4th October to finish. Whoopee! Not long now. 

Although I can't believe it's nearly October!

So much for self restraint

Well, my self-restraint/righteousness was a waste of time: I put on .1 kg. Okay, that's not much but it's a GAIN!

I suspect the problem is that I'm mixing and matching diet plans - to ensure I get the most to eat obviously - and it isn't working.

Breakfast - weetabix - all diet plans
Lunch - Crunchy nut corn flakes - Special K diet plan
Dinner - meat and veg in some shape and form - slimming world/rosemary conley plans

I see a number of flaws in this but using Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes isn't one of them. The calories/fat/sugar contents aren't very different surprisingly. There is quite a lot of sugar in Special K. However the Special K diet plan is based on having a 30g bowlful. Hmm, mine is probably more 60.

Dinner time I'm not necessarily eating lots of speed feed as recommended by SW and I'm probably having quite large dinners.

What I haven't mentioned is the amount of fruit I eat during the day. Victoria plums are in season at the moment and I love them. They're okay: they are speed food. But as part of a meal not as snacks. Also pigging out on grapes - loaded with sugar as Husband frequently tells me. 

But I haven't been well. Okay, only slightly unwell, a bit snuffly, dry-throated, you know, but in need of some form of comfort food.

So I'll let myself off this week with a reminder to do better next week. I'm still on the pledge - remember, no chocs, cakes, bread etc - and I'll go back to proper SW lunches.

Hello, misery, my old friend.

Self-righteous? Moi?

On Wednesday evening I walked and drank tea with a young friend. YF had a great big custard slice; I refrained.

Yesterday, after walking in the park, GrandDaughter2 had a packet of Jelly Tots and Husband had a Wispa bar; I had nothing.

Today Husband and I went to Sainsburys and, as in our wont, we called in to the cafe afterwards. Husband had carrot cake; I had baked potato and chilli veg. (Rather strangely it contained more calories than the potato with prawn mayonnaise filling but my calories were probably healthier.)

Can you see my halo gleaming?

Weigh day today. After the last few weeks I would have settled for no change - not been happy but resigned - so it was pleasing to find I'd lost .4 kg. I work that out as about one pound. 

Not a lot until you think of it as a pound of blubber. Then it seems more acceptable. And anyway it's a pound in the right direction.

Onward and downward! I hope.

I also had the result of my cholesterol test today. At 5.2 it's a bit higher than the 4.6 it was last time I was tested in 2010. The doctor says it's fine but I think I should aim to improve it.

Feeling proud of myself

Husband wanted fish and chips (proper chip shop ones) for dinner last night. I went and fetched them for him - he had cunningly had a drink and showered thereby ensuring that I had to go out - but had beans on granary toast myself!

Confession: I did eat maybe ten - or perhaps a few more - chips from his plate. And they were especially yummy. Whether that is because they were forbidden fruit or because the chip shop has
new owners - Fernando's - who knows. But I know I ended up singing Abba all evening.

Feeling thin, thin, thin

I actually started the 30 day Challenge on Tuesday so I'm now on Day 4 and already I feel thin. 

30 day challenge

Well, for the last few weeks my weight has been steadily rising. Without the desire to not be embarrassed by the girl at the weigh-in table in Slimming World I can't seem to take control. I'm not happy with my weight now nor the fact that it's increasing and will continue to do so unless I take this more seriously.

But I tell myself it's been the school holidays, lots of excuses for eating badly. Chips out for lunch when child-minding followed by ice cream. Of course. But telling myself I'm keeping active so it won't matter. but it does. It's most unfair. So hard to lose weight and so easy to gain it.

I saw this on facebook recently:

I'm going to try it. It's like Lent. If I have a clearly defined time and purpose I find it easier to comply. Not easy but easier.

This challenge isn't too bad. I don't eat burgers or fast food and only eat chips in the summer holidays. I make chips at home but they're SW ones so fine. We don't have white bread unless we have children for lunch and then, especially if it's a French loaf it's difficult to resist but I shall try. If I drink soda it's always the sugar-free sort so that leaves me with NO chocolate, cakes, cookies and sweets.

I can do this.

Weigh-hey day

Tuesday is traditionally our weigh day. Husband is a consistent weigher; I am less so depending on how fat I feel. This morning I decided to 'feel the fear and do it anyway' - Nike has a lot to answer for - so plucked up my courage and got on the scales.

It wasn't as bad as I expected. 

I put on a lot of weight over our holiday and it's been rising gradually since but I felt I'd eaten so much recently that it would have leapt up. So just a little, as in .2 kg, was a plus from my point of view. 

So today's weight is 60.8 kg or - hang on while I convert it - 134 lbs, which is 9 st 8 lbs.

That's 5 lbs above the weight I'd like to be. Not horrendous but unless I take care my weight will continue to creep up so must stop now.

The dilemma I have is the same as that described by Briony in her comment on my previous post. Chopping and changing between feeling 'healthy so what's a little extra weight?' and 'but I feel more confident and happier when I'm thinner.'

I think I could write pages about the influence of the media and my own insecurities but perhaps that's for another day.

For today, I'll try to be sensible.

Back on the diet today

It started well with two weetabix for breakfast. Collapsed at lunchtime.

My new waste-reduction campaign entails me eating up left-overs, which in this case meant white bread. Toasted with butter (lots of it obviously) and marmalade. On the plus side I did have some chilli beetroot before it. And some left-over barbecued corn on the cob - which although a Free Food is not a Speed Food so not entirely good.

So while saving the planet I am putting my diet at risk. Hey ho. Sacrifices have to be made.

I want to lose some of the weight I've put on over the last few months of holidays and enjoying myself, which is all very well and good but I am torn because every now and then I think, 'So what if I have a bit of extra weight? I am enjoying myself.'
And I reply, 'But you feel much better in yourself - more confident and happy - when your shorts don't feel so tight.'

We shall see which one of me wins.

But I shall have to go back to Slimming World because however strong I think my resolve is it doesn't work without some other motivation.

Bang on target

So I reached my target on Wednesday. Just. But that was good enough. I came home and celebrated with Maltesers. A lot of Maltesers. And felt bad afterwards. But not bad enough to stop me eating the rest of the box.

Back on the eating sensibly wagon today. But only because Husband has eaten the last scone.

Hacienda pie

On a grey damp evening it was good to have a warming Mexican-inspired dish for diner.

Hacienda pie from the Slimming World Comfort Food cookbook with added red peppers and mixed veg. I was going to put spinach in too but I forgot. Enjoyed by Younger Son, Nuora, Husband so acceptable as a family meal. Husband did add to chilli oil to it but he does that out of habit with all my 'slimming' meals.

Tasty harissa lamb

Another pound lost meaning I have just half a pound to go to reach target. I must be able to do that this week surely?

Dinner the other night - harissa lamb with chickpeas. Originally a BBC recipe not specifically a slimming one but I made it using spinach instead of dried apricots. 

The harissa paste is 1 syn per tablespoon so about .25 syns per serving. Everything else is free. I served it with cauliflower and broccoli rice, sprouts and carrots so loads of speed food too.

To make it, chop lamb leg steaks into cubes and coat with harissa paste. Put in casserole dish with a carton of passata, a mug of water and a sprinkling of thyme. Bring to the boil then transfer to the oven, 150, for an hour. Add tin of chickpeas (drained) and cook for another 45 minutes before adding chopped spinach and finishing off for 15 minutes or so, or until lamb is tender.

To make cauliflower and broccoli rice you need a blender. Chop a medium-sized head of cauli and some broccoli until it's in rice-sized pieces. Microwave for 7 minutes. No water needed. You can add some pilau or other spices before you start to cook if you want.

Bad weekend

i.e. lovely food but not good for diet.

We went to Surrey for GrandSon3's birthday party and Elder Son made yummy pizza for dinner on Saturday. That followed by party food on Sunday - also big breakfast in hotel but mostly free food except for hash brown - and nibbling in car on journey home mean I've had a very enjoyable weekend!

The reason for the nibbling in car: we took two of the Swansea grandchildren with us for the party and to keep them happy on the way home I force fed them. 

Birthday cake made by Elder Son

You are gorgeous!

I realise I am promoting the lie that you can't be gorgeous if you're overweight, which of course is nonsense. Gorgeousness doesn't depend on how much you weigh. 

Gorgeousness is internal and shines out of us. It's not a spotlight that is put on us when we reach a certain target weight. It's about how we treat others and how we treat ourselves. We can be our own harshest critics. I know I can. 

And that self-criticism can be a heavy burden that can cloud our gorgeousness - because if the world knew what I'm really like, what I eat when no-one's looking, well, I can feel myself retreating into my tin of biscuits as I write.

I read an interesting article when I was waiting in the optician's recently. It suggested giving your inner critic a name and talking back to her/him when she/he starts on you. It also suggested asking yourself if you would say to a friend the things you say to yourself. Would you say to a friend, for example, 'You're fat and horrible and a waste of space'? Of course you wouldn't. So why say it to yourself?

Gorging not gorgeous

Does anyone else come back from weigh-in and gorge on the grounds that you've got a whole week to make up for it?

I shall be glad when this tin is empty. The fact that they're 'thins' fools me into eating lots of them.

At weigh-in I'd lost one pound. Still one and a half to go until I reach target. I'm back where I was on December 20th - when my twelve week option ran out. I keep telling myself it's not worth paying for another twelve weeks as I'll be at target soon - but at this rate ...

Also I'm being a bit lax because when I weigh naked (at home) I'm on target and that fact has affected my mind set. 

That and the nearly empty box of biscuits sitting on the desk beside me.

I just checked my BMI and ideal weight according to the NHS website: I am just about perfect! Right in the middle of what is a healthy weight/BMI. That is if I am 5'5". If I'm 5'4" - and I'm never sure what I am - then I'm still fine. 

However if I look at Weight Loss Resources website I am just about in the overweight category. Could it be they have a vested interest in convincing me I'm overweight?

Take a handful of spinach

When I was still a newbie I asked in Wednesday afternoon's Slimming World group for advice about getting speed into meals. Grace suggested adding spinach to everything.

It works!

My left-over spag bol was looking a little pasta heavy until I added the spinach. My bolognese sauce is actually very veg-biased with onions, celery, carrot, courgette and tomatoes.

Just add mayonnaise

Out walking with George, my dog, I noticed the sign outside the garage advertising a meal deal: sandwiches, crisps and a drink.
'Oh,' I said to George, 'I could just eat a sandwich. A nice egg and mayonnaise one with a packet of cheese crisps.'
We walked on a bit.
'Or a prawn and mayonnaise baguette,' I continued.
We crossed the road to the beach.
'Or tuna mayonnaise.'

George said, 'In fact anything with mayonnaise.'
'Um,' I tried to think of anything that wouldn't have tasted good at that point. 'Yes.'

Must try harder

I thought I'd hop on the scales this morning to see if I'd made any progress. A bit disappointing as I was much the same but then again I have eaten: a large box of Maltesers, two chocolates off the Christmas tree, a number of toffees and loads of ginger thins (they're thins for goodness sake, how many syns can there be in them?)

Must try harder.

Last night's dinner was good though. Pork tenderloin on a bed of apples and onions served with mashed potato, carrots, sprouts, and garlicky courgettes and mushrooms. A blob of marg in the mash but apart from that syn-free. 

Not the most attractively served but yummy nevertheless.

Make like a frog and croak - or groan in my case

As expected I had gained one and a half pounds at weigh-in. Since then I've eaten the bulk - Husband ate a few - of a large box of Maltesers. I have two boxes left but I hereby resolve not to open those until I reach my target weight. 

I'm only two and a half pounds off it but those last few pounds are proving to be most difficult. Can I do it by next Wednesday? Almost certainly ... not. My weight loss has been steady rather than spectacular. If I lose a pound in a week I'm pleased. But we shall see.

Will I be determined enough? Or will my will power weaken when I get peckish/bored/depressed?

My first exercise class - I had to leave the Slimming World session early to get there on time - was flipping hard work. It's a Legs, Bums and Tums class and, because most of the regulars are students and not back at college yet, I was the only participant.

The last thing Husband said to me before I set off for class was, 'Don't overdo it now,' bearing in mind I had an operation before Christmas. But you know what it's like: it's just you and the teacher and you don't want to be put to shame so you try to keep up and overdo it. (Not that I could keep up with the lunges; I kept wobbling over.)

One of the exercises for the glutes (bum to you and me) is this frog exercise. Lie flat, feet together and legs apart - as the doctor says when about to do an internal exam, 'Just let your knees flop out,' then lift and lower, lift and lower.

It looks obscene and is hard to do. But this exercise is just impossible.

If you can get your knees that high above the floor I salute you!


Today every action is painful.

If I just sit here I'm fine but ask me to move, walk, go up stairs or, worst of all, pick something up from the floor, 'Do I have to? Could it just stay on the floor for a few days? I'll pick it up on Sunday.'

Fiddle, I've just noticed three Maltesers on my desk. Do I:
a) throw them away;
b) give them to Husband;
c) save them for the grandchildren;
d) eat them myself?

Answers on a postcard - or in the Comments - please.

Weigh Day today

The first after Christmas. I could have gone last Wednesday but it was Nuora's birthday party tea, complete with salted caramel pavlova made by Daughter.

So I await weigh-in with something approaching dread. I have not eaten as much as I do most Christmases. I resisted the urge to buy any large tubs of Quality Street or Heroes (and again yesterday I was strong even though they were reduced in price!) and we didn't have much chocolate in general.

My real downfall came in the form of cheese and vegetables roasted in oil - as opposed to my usual frylight. And most delicious it all was.

I confess I weighed on our scales yesterday morning - Tuesday morning is traditionally when Husband and I weigh - and I had gained one and a half pounds approximately, but last time I tried it varied a lot from the slimming world scales so I am a little anxious as I say. It feels like a lot more!

Anyway, this evening I intend to go straight from slimming world weigh-in to a new exercise class, Legs, Bums and Tums. It's led by Hannah, who took our gentle exercise class and I very much enjoyed her instruction, if not the exercise itself. I am never likely to become a fitness fanatic.