Self-righteous? Moi?

On Wednesday evening I walked and drank tea with a young friend. YF had a great big custard slice; I refrained.

Yesterday, after walking in the park, GrandDaughter2 had a packet of Jelly Tots and Husband had a Wispa bar; I had nothing.

Today Husband and I went to Sainsburys and, as in our wont, we called in to the cafe afterwards. Husband had carrot cake; I had baked potato and chilli veg. (Rather strangely it contained more calories than the potato with prawn mayonnaise filling but my calories were probably healthier.)

Can you see my halo gleaming?

Weigh day today. After the last few weeks I would have settled for no change - not been happy but resigned - so it was pleasing to find I'd lost .4 kg. I work that out as about one pound. 

Not a lot until you think of it as a pound of blubber. Then it seems more acceptable. And anyway it's a pound in the right direction.

Onward and downward! I hope.

I also had the result of my cholesterol test today. At 5.2 it's a bit higher than the 4.6 it was last time I was tested in 2010. The doctor says it's fine but I think I should aim to improve it.

Feeling proud of myself

Husband wanted fish and chips (proper chip shop ones) for dinner last night. I went and fetched them for him - he had cunningly had a drink and showered thereby ensuring that I had to go out - but had beans on granary toast myself!

Confession: I did eat maybe ten - or perhaps a few more - chips from his plate. And they were especially yummy. Whether that is because they were forbidden fruit or because the chip shop has
new owners - Fernando's - who knows. But I know I ended up singing Abba all evening.

Feeling thin, thin, thin

I actually started the 30 day Challenge on Tuesday so I'm now on Day 4 and already I feel thin. 

30 day challenge

Well, for the last few weeks my weight has been steadily rising. Without the desire to not be embarrassed by the girl at the weigh-in table in Slimming World I can't seem to take control. I'm not happy with my weight now nor the fact that it's increasing and will continue to do so unless I take this more seriously.

But I tell myself it's been the school holidays, lots of excuses for eating badly. Chips out for lunch when child-minding followed by ice cream. Of course. But telling myself I'm keeping active so it won't matter. but it does. It's most unfair. So hard to lose weight and so easy to gain it.

I saw this on facebook recently:

I'm going to try it. It's like Lent. If I have a clearly defined time and purpose I find it easier to comply. Not easy but easier.

This challenge isn't too bad. I don't eat burgers or fast food and only eat chips in the summer holidays. I make chips at home but they're SW ones so fine. We don't have white bread unless we have children for lunch and then, especially if it's a French loaf it's difficult to resist but I shall try. If I drink soda it's always the sugar-free sort so that leaves me with NO chocolate, cakes, cookies and sweets.

I can do this.

Weigh-hey day

Tuesday is traditionally our weigh day. Husband is a consistent weigher; I am less so depending on how fat I feel. This morning I decided to 'feel the fear and do it anyway' - Nike has a lot to answer for - so plucked up my courage and got on the scales.

It wasn't as bad as I expected. 

I put on a lot of weight over our holiday and it's been rising gradually since but I felt I'd eaten so much recently that it would have leapt up. So just a little, as in .2 kg, was a plus from my point of view. 

So today's weight is 60.8 kg or - hang on while I convert it - 134 lbs, which is 9 st 8 lbs.

That's 5 lbs above the weight I'd like to be. Not horrendous but unless I take care my weight will continue to creep up so must stop now.

The dilemma I have is the same as that described by Briony in her comment on my previous post. Chopping and changing between feeling 'healthy so what's a little extra weight?' and 'but I feel more confident and happier when I'm thinner.'

I think I could write pages about the influence of the media and my own insecurities but perhaps that's for another day.

For today, I'll try to be sensible.

Back on the diet today

It started well with two weetabix for breakfast. Collapsed at lunchtime.

My new waste-reduction campaign entails me eating up left-overs, which in this case meant white bread. Toasted with butter (lots of it obviously) and marmalade. On the plus side I did have some chilli beetroot before it. And some left-over barbecued corn on the cob - which although a Free Food is not a Speed Food so not entirely good.

So while saving the planet I am putting my diet at risk. Hey ho. Sacrifices have to be made.

I want to lose some of the weight I've put on over the last few months of holidays and enjoying myself, which is all very well and good but I am torn because every now and then I think, 'So what if I have a bit of extra weight? I am enjoying myself.'
And I reply, 'But you feel much better in yourself - more confident and happy - when your shorts don't feel so tight.'

We shall see which one of me wins.

But I shall have to go back to Slimming World because however strong I think my resolve is it doesn't work without some other motivation.