Weigh-hey day

Tuesday is traditionally our weigh day. Husband is a consistent weigher; I am less so depending on how fat I feel. This morning I decided to 'feel the fear and do it anyway' - Nike has a lot to answer for - so plucked up my courage and got on the scales.

It wasn't as bad as I expected. 

I put on a lot of weight over our holiday and it's been rising gradually since but I felt I'd eaten so much recently that it would have leapt up. So just a little, as in .2 kg, was a plus from my point of view. 

So today's weight is 60.8 kg or - hang on while I convert it - 134 lbs, which is 9 st 8 lbs.

That's 5 lbs above the weight I'd like to be. Not horrendous but unless I take care my weight will continue to creep up so must stop now.

The dilemma I have is the same as that described by Briony in her comment on my previous post. Chopping and changing between feeling 'healthy so what's a little extra weight?' and 'but I feel more confident and happier when I'm thinner.'

I think I could write pages about the influence of the media and my own insecurities but perhaps that's for another day.

For today, I'll try to be sensible.

Back on the diet today

It started well with two weetabix for breakfast. Collapsed at lunchtime.

My new waste-reduction campaign entails me eating up left-overs, which in this case meant white bread. Toasted with butter (lots of it obviously) and marmalade. On the plus side I did have some chilli beetroot before it. And some left-over barbecued corn on the cob - which although a Free Food is not a Speed Food so not entirely good.

So while saving the planet I am putting my diet at risk. Hey ho. Sacrifices have to be made.

I want to lose some of the weight I've put on over the last few months of holidays and enjoying myself, which is all very well and good but I am torn because every now and then I think, 'So what if I have a bit of extra weight? I am enjoying myself.'
And I reply, 'But you feel much better in yourself - more confident and happy - when your shorts don't feel so tight.'

We shall see which one of me wins.

But I shall have to go back to Slimming World because however strong I think my resolve is it doesn't work without some other motivation.

Bang on target

So I reached my target on Wednesday. Just. But that was good enough. I came home and celebrated with Maltesers. A lot of Maltesers. And felt bad afterwards. But not bad enough to stop me eating the rest of the box.

Back on the eating sensibly wagon today. But only because Husband has eaten the last scone.

Hacienda pie

On a grey damp evening it was good to have a warming Mexican-inspired dish for diner.

Hacienda pie from the Slimming World Comfort Food cookbook with added red peppers and mixed veg. I was going to put spinach in too but I forgot. Enjoyed by Younger Son, Nuora, Husband so acceptable as a family meal. Husband did add to chilli oil to it but he does that out of habit with all my 'slimming' meals.

Tasty harissa lamb

Another pound lost meaning I have just half a pound to go to reach target. I must be able to do that this week surely?

Dinner the other night - harissa lamb with chickpeas. Originally a BBC recipe not specifically a slimming one but I made it using spinach instead of dried apricots. 

The harissa paste is 1 syn per tablespoon so about .25 syns per serving. Everything else is free. I served it with cauliflower and broccoli rice, sprouts and carrots so loads of speed food too.

To make it, chop lamb leg steaks into cubes and coat with harissa paste. Put in casserole dish with a carton of passata, a mug of water and a sprinkling of thyme. Bring to the boil then transfer to the oven, 150, for an hour. Add tin of chickpeas (drained) and cook for another 45 minutes before adding chopped spinach and finishing off for 15 minutes or so, or until lamb is tender.

To make cauliflower and broccoli rice you need a blender. Chop a medium-sized head of cauli and some broccoli until it's in rice-sized pieces. Microwave for 7 minutes. No water needed. You can add some pilau or other spices before you start to cook if you want.

Bad weekend

i.e. lovely food but not good for diet.

We went to Surrey for GrandSon3's birthday party and Elder Son made yummy pizza for dinner on Saturday. That followed by party food on Sunday - also big breakfast in hotel but mostly free food except for hash brown - and nibbling in car on journey home mean I've had a very enjoyable weekend!

The reason for the nibbling in car: we took two of the Swansea grandchildren with us for the party and to keep them happy on the way home I force fed them. 

Birthday cake made by Elder Son

You are gorgeous!

I realise I am promoting the lie that you can't be gorgeous if you're overweight, which of course is nonsense. Gorgeousness doesn't depend on how much you weigh. 

Gorgeousness is internal and shines out of us. It's not a spotlight that is put on us when we reach a certain target weight. It's about how we treat others and how we treat ourselves. We can be our own harshest critics. I know I can. 

And that self-criticism can be a heavy burden that can cloud our gorgeousness - because if the world knew what I'm really like, what I eat when no-one's looking, well, I can feel myself retreating into my tin of biscuits as I write.

I read an interesting article when I was waiting in the optician's recently. It suggested giving your inner critic a name and talking back to her/him when she/he starts on you. It also suggested asking yourself if you would say to a friend the things you say to yourself. Would you say to a friend, for example, 'You're fat and horrible and a waste of space'? Of course you wouldn't. So why say it to yourself?